Damian
I'm sorry I didn't write you this morning as I normaly do. Gods my head has been so foggybrained. I rearranged the livingroom last night a bit so it looked different in a couple ways. It hurt a lot but at least it doesn't continualy hurt now. I went to walmart and got a couple picture frames too. I want to make it look a bit more like home by hanging a few pictures of you around the house.
Another good thing that I did was I got my phone to turn back on somehow and I got the couple of pictures on that phone that I cherished of you. I hadn't been able to get my phone to turn on since the day they declaired you brain dead.
I went into your room last night and sat there talking to you. I don't know if you could hear me or not but I was saying it was hard on me because I still have most of your favorite toys, your crib which was your most favorite toy, and some of my favorite cloths to put on you as well as your blankets and still no you. I'd do anything in the world to be able to check on you in your crib in the middle of the night as I did every night and make sure you are okay. What hurts the most is I know you aren't okay and thats why you aren't there.
I would do anything for just one more moment of holding you my lil bug
loving you and missing you always
your Mamum
Stay strong!! I know I don't know you personally and my words may not mean anything to you but I try...everyday I get on here hoping that your ok and I know you say hes not ok cause hes not there but he IS he IS ok and he IS there maybe not physically but hes there with you every second of every day!! Im sure he heard you talking to him in his room!! He's an angel now he's gods angel and your angel everyones angel!!Take it one step at a time put one foot in front of the other and take the time you need to heal and cope from this you might not ever think that you can do either one but I have faith in you!! Damian loves you so much!! You are a strong person I dont know how I would ever deal with something like this and the thought of you writing letters to your son every day is really amazing!! His smile in this picture on the background of this page it just melts my heart I type a little and find myself starring at his smile type a little more then find myself doing it again...he was a handsome little boy!! Stay strong!! Remember ONE DAY AT A TIME!!
ReplyDeleteYour son is beautiful. he is now an angel watching over u and does not understand why u are crying all the time he is in a much better place and he is with u everyday.He hears every word u say to him . Iam glad u started this blog it is a way to help you heal.You did a great job at helping your son the day this happen and he knows you did everything u could to help him the days will get better i wish i could say how long that will take but i cant everyone has their own time to heal. Just remember your son is with u everyday. You may not see him but he is there. You did a wonderful thing when you donated his organs first you helped two family and second your son lives on through them . I will keep praying for
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